We all have stories we tell ourselves about the bad experiences, the poor service, the people who done us wrong. If it happens in a restaurant we raise a hue and cry and complain and try to get some satisfaction. But we never really get satisfied and the louder and more strident our complaint the bigger and badder the complaint is.

You do the same thing in your personal life. Something happens to you. Someone does something that hurts your feelings, doesn’t live up to expectations, or abuses your trust. In your mind you are writing an angry letter. A letter so angry, so full of vitriol, so spiteful that when they read it they will feel your pain. They may even go home and kick their own dog; it is so full of heartfelt gut wrenching emotion. The more you put into the letter the more anger and spite the worse you are going to feel. You are reliving the event over and over with ever word in the letter. Every angry word, every bit of angry energy you apply to the situation worsens it until that creates a maelstrom of negativity that forces you to make decisions that affect your whole life.

Stop writing that letter. Stop right now. No one is reading it except you. No one cares about it except you. The person who done you wrong moved on. That person went on with their life. You are the one still carrying it forward. Put it down.

Re write the letter. Write the most positive, glowing letter you can write. Tell us what you learned. Tell us how that person taught you, helped, make a difference to you. Lay it on thick. This is the story you want to tell. And when you are done doing that then, and only then, can you say…”And when this happened I felt _________.” Explain what went wrong without all the angst and story behind it. Leave all the horrible consequences you think you suffered out.

This is how you change the past. This is how you move past the hurt and anger and vitriol of the wrongs you think have been perpetrated upon you. Re-frame your experiences, re-tell your stories, and re-learn the lessons from a viewpoint of positivity. This is how you change your life. This is how you move ahead after heart break and hurt. This is how you become great.

John Mariotti
www.crossfitodyssey.com
www.sunday-stories.blogspot.com
775-338-2412