Sunday Story…Your Resolutions
Are not the problem. Nor is it your motivation or even your discipline.
The problem is what happens after you make the resolution (or any decision to change).
Here is the normal process:
Big Push (effort)
Setback (small failure)
How many times (years) have you been doing this? This spiral gets you nowhere and actually gets worse year after year. The getting worse part is the self loathing. That needs to stop.
There is a better way. Stop trying to connect to the actions. When you focus on the actions it is too easy to lose the habit. When the focus is on the doing when you aren’t doing you are failing. When I fail or quit I don’t like myself. When I don’t like myself I will indulge in the things I was resolving not to do (eat healthy). Thus the spiral.
The better way is to focus on the outcome. When I focus on the outcome I can form an emotional bond to success. When I am emotionally vested in success those small setbacks are just that…small setbacks. Then instead of delaying I just restart. The downward spiral has been arrested. We go back to pushing toward our emotionally connected outcome.
There are some standard resolutions most people make every year…lose weight, make more money, and feel better. Not only are these ephemeral there is no connection to the outcome. What will happen when you lose weight? How will you feel? How will you look? What will people say to you? What will you learn? The answers will provide an emotional connection to the results of your activities.
Even better is to throw out the standard resolutions and start with some questions (courtesy of Chris Cooper at Two Brain Business who inspired this post):
What do you what to learn?
Where do you want to go?
What do you NEED to upgrade?
Who will you serve?
Answer these questions and you will have a template for your year.
Next week…what to do with the answers!